This part two is the story of the birth of my daughter Kiya.
Kiya's birth story begins approximately six weeks before she was actually born, at Glastonbury festival. I was already hugely pregnant and so was my friend Beth. We both got a lift into the festival with Beth's partner Tara, to Rer, my partner who was helping with the sacred fire in the teepee field. It was extremely bumpy riding over the festival site and we both sat clutching our big bellies as we bounced over every pothole and bump! Later that night, I experienced strong contractions all night and I thought I was in early labour. The next day Rer and I got a lift off site, and as soon as we got home, the contractions stopped!
I experienced really strong braxton hicks contractions on and off for weeks, which was quite confusing as I hadn't had them with my first two pregnancies. In the two weeks prior to Kiya's birth, I felt like I was in labour every night between about 11pm and 2am, but come the morning, everything stopped again. I was starting to get really impatient and disheartened. Was this baby EVER going to show up? I knew exactly when I had conceived as I had been taking my temperatures religiously whilst attempting to conceive this baby, so I knew I was almost 43 weeks pregnant and so big I actually had to walk with a big stick and sleep in the comfy chair in the living room! The midwives were very cool and left the ball in my court. They knew I had had two successful home births and didn't want any intervention. I believe that a baby will be born when s/he is ready, but as I hit the 43 week mark, I knew that the midwives were wanting to induce or at least do a cervical sweep (where they manually dislodge some or all of the mucous plug with a finger to get labour started). My partner Rer looked up how to do a cervical sweep online and the day before the midwife was due for the sweep, we decided to do it ourselves. I certainly would prefer the finger of my beloved opening our babies door rather than a relative stranger. I certainly would not recommend anyone do this unless they are at least three weeks over and have weighed it up very seriously. I kept checking in with my tummy baby and on that morning with the sun streaming in and a feeling of peace pervading our house, it felt right.
I sat and meditated with my baby for a couple of hours and prayed for her to begin her journey earthside before any medical intervention was pressed upon us. I took a big homeopathic remedy and some herbal tincture too, all the while talking to my baby and asking her to please come today! In the afternoon my friend Sam came round and gave me some acupuncture too. I had been having mild contractions through the day, but that was nothing new, and I didn't want to get my hopes up too much, but by the time Sam finished the acupuncture and left, the contractions were much stronger. I kept feeling my feet as I read somewhere that when a woman goes into labour her feet go cold, as all the heat rises to the womb!
My dear friend Becky arrived. She was supposed to be with us for the birth and was coming to stay the night just in case! By this time I was sitting on my birthing ball, holding on to my big stick, feeling like a tribal mama, and starting to moan through the contractions. This definitely felt at this point like it could be the day! Rer lit loads of candles and nightlights and made a gorgeous shrine area on the table with crystals and stones. At this point there was a knock on the door and our friend Jaine came in. She said she couldn't stop thinking about me that day and felt to come and check I was OK. She was really excited to arrive during my labour and it felt right to ask if she wanted to stay, which she did!
The atmosphere was so lovely, dark and candle lit, with quiet chatter and laughs between contractions and everyone focusing on breathing with me through the rushes. Jaine gave me my birthing mantra for my first birth and I used it every time. 'Down, good, open, yes!' My other dear friend Jess arrived as she was invited to be at this birth too. I had been at the birth of her son a few years before and I really wanted her with me this time. The labour was progressing pretty much text book. I stripped off my leopard print pyjama's and sat naked on a towel on my trusty birthing ball. The contractions were getting really strong, and seemed quite close together. I remember at one point having an arm each round Becky and Jess and practically pulling them down to the floor during these strong contractions! Jady, our lovely friend and doula arrived next and our birthing team was complete.
All this time my beloved Rer was near me and rubbing my back when I needed it, and cleaning up the messy parts of giving birth, God bless him! I started to feel 'pushy'. The sweet baby working so hard to get born. At this point, I was on my knees, leaning over the ball, with Becky on one side, Jess on the other, Jaine and Rer behind me and Jady in front. I was squeezing Jady's hands so hard and roaring like a lioness. Rer even gave me his hand to bite down on at some point! He kept reminding me to bring the pitch of my roars from high to low as this really helped to bring me out of fear and into empowerment again. He also held in my piles for each contraction, now that's true love! I started to push the baby out and felt the familiar crowning, splitting sensation. It seemed to go on for ages. It took quite a few contractions to get the babies head out and I felt great relief when it was finally out, but her shoulder and body were stuck fast. I pushed and pushed and moved and pushed, but she wouldn't come. Jady reached in and hooked her finger under the babies armpit and twisted and pulled her out. Blessed relief! I felt exhausted and elated! I remember hearing Rer exclaiming ' You've got a daughter Arisha!'. These were some of the sweetest words I have ever heard. After two beautiful sons I had yearned for a daughter and here she was! I picked her up and marveled at her beautiful little face and perfect little yoni! She was born at around 1.18am. The next moments seemed to go in slow motion. It seemed to take ages to birth the placenta and all I wanted to do was snuggle up with my baby girl, but I had to crouch over a bowl while her daddy gave her his first cuddles. I think the midwife arrived at this point. Eventually the placenta came out and I lay down with our little girl. Everyone cleaned up around me, I think we used every towel in the house!
As I looked at her I suddenly knew her name was Kiya. I hadn't really got any girls names ready, as I didn't dare hope I would be blessed with a daughter, but she seemed to come in with her own name ready! I didn't sleep all night, but gazed upon our beautiful angel and relived her birth in my mind. She latched on a little and sucked some colostrum, but mostly she slept. In the morning my parents arrived with our lovely boys and they met their little sister for the first time, and my parents met their first grand-daughter and brought a mahoosive bunch of pink flowers and the cutest little pink butterfy suit! Later that day, Kiya weighed in at a hefty 10 pounds 10 oz! I give so many thanks for her safe arrival and the loving support of Rer and our fantastic birthing team!
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